i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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