you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
being pregnant is like rehab
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
