I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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