Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
