The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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