I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
