Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
