Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We need a shit load of segways right now
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
