Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
As shirtless as possible
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
