marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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