with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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