i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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