yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
