It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
