My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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