im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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