I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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