Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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