She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
