I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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