I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
