apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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