going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
