This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
