'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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