White coat. Heels.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She bit a glass in half.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
