marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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