Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
