so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
The adults are the big ones right?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
