Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
