Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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