is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
