the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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