woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
