I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
