I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
