He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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