Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Two words: blizzard sex
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
