They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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