Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
