Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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