it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
