this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Congratulations! We have a period
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