I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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