He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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