also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
