we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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