Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
please come you make the beer taste better
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
