Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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