Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
