i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
