Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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