what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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